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Turning toward

June makes us think of young love and weddings. But I’ve recently been fortunate enough to spend some extra up close time with happily married couples in my not-so-young age group, and I can tell you old love can do just fine. As much as I miss having a partner, it thrills me to see others happy with theirs. There’s something incredible about a man who LOVES his wife and vice versa. Being privy to the interactions, both the mundane and the out of the ordinary, is truly a gift.

Thoughts of these couples, and their relationships, were slogging – blogging? – around in my brain when, as luck would have it, I stumbled on an article in “The Atlantic” about lasting relationships. The author acknowledged the unsettling numbers of failed June and every-other-month marriages. The article describes a fascinating study of couples. Turns out there seem to be pretty good predictors of which marriages will fail (the disasters) and which will soar (the masters.) You can read the whole thing yourself at this link.

But the recipe includes ideas of “turning toward” instead of “turning away” and “kindness and generosity instead of contempt, criticism, and hostility.” Kinda’ duh! Yet, we torpedo seven out of ten of our marriages or relationships. All of this and other details are fleshed out in this article which is so worth reading, but, if you don’t want to wade through the details, the bottom line is enough. “Kindness glues a couple together.” How simple is that for such a great reward? If you are fortunate enough to still have your other half, turn toward your partner and get out that glue while you still can. Sticky kisses are bound to follow.

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