Like most people with happy lives, my life has generally been happy chaos. I have not always served myself well by appreciating the present and being in the moment. But one time I did do that. It was not too long after Charles and I adopted two precious little girls, sisters, ages 3 and 6. We were sitting outside one warm, comfortable night, enjoying the evening, the girls sleepily snuggled in our arms, big as they were, one in the swing with me and the other in the rocker

For years, my husband Charles had a habit that was grating to my little miss organized personality. On his way out the door, he would almost always put his shoes on in the kitchen. That was fine. Of course, in so doing, he would need to pull a kitchen chair away from the table. It was always the same chair, the one on the end. He’d cock the chair a little sideways, so he could sit, and proceed to complete the final leg --HAHA-- of his ensemble. I’d often walk with him t

My mother died Christmas Eve, 2007, four weeks after my husband, Charles. I’m an only child and until July, 2014, I had my wonderful, wacky dad in my life. I could (should ?) write another whole other book about my father and how Mr. Independent drove me crazy trying to take care of him. Suffice it to say, I never, ever won. Once, we were talking and he made the statement that probably my cousins should have taken their father’s car keys away from him before he died. I loo

I’m an only child with children and grandchildren. When my husband died in 2007, followed by my mother four weeks later, and then my father in 2014, I became the last man standing. This is not an original thought but a truth I recognized when I heard it put that way by a new friend I recently met, a neighbor who has been widowed longer than I and is now her family’s last man standing. That title confers both opportunity and responsibility. At our age, more bad things are ap

I am often uneasy about saying I’m “blessed.” I worry that it might sound like a zero sum game. Because everybody did not have wonderful Christian parents who provided a near-perfect childhood full of friends and family and cousins who are still like brothers and sisters. Not everybody is fortunate enough to go to college and then have a lifetime of satisfying work to do. Love and lovers and children and grandchildren don’t find every person. Unlike many others, I’ve nev

If you know me, knew Charles, or have read “Hey, God? Yes, Charles,” you know that his favorite Christmas hymn is “Mary, Did You Know.” One of the best gifts I receive this time of year is when folks find new versions of that song and share them with me. They are often digital but not always. And sometimes it’s a story around the song. Last week, friends were driving outside Atlanta, heard the song as they passed a Nativity, and immediately texted me! One fellow musician

It seems to me that contentment and gratitude must be first cousins. I am paraphrasing the words of a friend who paraphrased the words from a series of sermons by Dr. Martin Thielen, pastor and best selling author. He based these sermons on the teaching and writings of Paul in Philippians but also incorporated the secular science behind happiness and contentment. It appears that secular science concludes that about 10% of happiness is due to all the external stuff that we wor

Years ago, Charles (Papa) and I took granddaughters to Disneyworld. At some point, we began to see those ice cream cones and pretty much all at once we all wanted one. Have you seen them? They pile that ice cream up to the sky and then hand those cones to kids. If you’ve been to Disney when it’s busy – and it’s always busy – you also know everything requires planning. Charles found us a table. I pointed out to the girls the danger and difficulty of holding on to the pre